can you be trusted?

i found out that his hp got a message called fannie which send him " love ya alot" !! i really dunno what does this sentence mean ? i was veri sad and he kept confronted and asked me what happen but i keep telling him that nothing happened. because i dun wish to know the fact, i scare i wil cry , i scare i wil hurt by him .. when we sleeping , he told me he love me , but i have no respond at that moment as i kept thinking that did he msg her and told her the same way as he did to me now! i sense that he crying over my coldness and ignorance but what can i do , i too hurt to think and understand .. simply i just closed my eyes and say good night to him and sleep .. that the only solution for existing of pain , don't you think so ?

thursday18/1/07
wake up at 11 plus in the morning, and he still sleeping . so i wrote our daily life style in a diary , and i think is very meaningful and when he wake up , he read it.. and asked me what happened yesterday . i dun dare to speak up in front of him but just beat about the bush and i started to cry . he told me that a misunderstanding, he said that the gal is her junior staff and she fall out of love and he console her and she treat him as a " big bro" .. she send "love ya lot" is just simply a friend care. i am jealous , i am angry but what to do , since he convince me , i just have to put a smile and told him i understand!!!

we went to eat at 289 and i went back home about 4 pm and i have to be quick cause i meeting him 6pm at boon lay .. i scared i late again ..

Sigh i late again , he reached that at 6pm but i still make up , so he got baleno and waited for me . i reached there about 6.30 pm ..haha den we go jp and walk walk and take cab heading to imm cause i reserved a boots from serene , so i have to go and see whether is nice. after talking to serene , den me and dear go diaso cause i wan buy things , buy eye brows shaver , mean while serene came to meet us cause she off work le. stupid dear keep asking me to take umbrella for him , make me look like typical auntie .. den we walk here and there. finally i saw my shop , face shop , i m so happy cause i alot of things to buy .. i brought one eyes brow pencil and one eyes shadow cost me $21 le.. and the sale gal veri funny and cute tel me buy nail polish cause today going increase the price so i faster choose .. i brought 4 bottle and she discount for me and she give me alot of sample creame tel me take take ..haha .. indeed she a nice lady ...so fun to talk to her !! went to giant and brought tissues box and cotton pad to dear house cause i need it ma, i felt something , i felt that i become a aunty .. haha ... go smoke with serene and dear go buy guay for mummie eat ! after he came to find us , serene going to find her coffee club and dear and me take cab back home.. reached home , i give some sample creme for mummie used and we watch television together waiting for the show to end and we go to eat.. lazy to wear nice so wear a pjymas and go eat with him .. after eating , wenr back home and he went to bathe ,but me sleep like a pig , dunno why i so tired!! we felt that everytime came back from imm , i wil be veri sleepy, maybe there got virus better e careful next time..

maybe i too tired le and too happy at imm cause keep laughing and all that so keep dreaming.. dear say i snored so loud lo .. and keep saying dream words such as serene cooked food for coffee club but not for me .. den later shout and say got crocodile around me..haah.. morning dear told me , we both laughed ... i like a kids to him .. bla la la.. reached home .. sleep again , now going to bathe and make up ... to be continued!