25.07.07 wed

went down to mini pub with angel :) bf called and scolded me and he say he be going home and i was so sad that i went out of the pub and i surprised to saw him :) we went in and drink , cant believed that i kept losing and i also be drinking so much then .. went home straight and we have conflicts again.. he scold me vugularites words when i told him i not going to his house even he keep focing me to :( i need go schooling the following days , i have been warn or i will debared , he did not know about that ! one sentence that broke my heart so bad... " i dun need you anymore" :( it make me feel so useless , a fucking failure.. told me to go home straight , no need eat my mcd:( what is this ? can anyone explain to me ? make me realise something , he a bastard same as the rest of guy .. what hurt me so bad? i alway thought he different from other guy in other ways, not those guys who throw me aside . in my eyes , he always my perfect boyfriend.. i dun mind his nagging or even he scold me but why must he say those things to hurt me.

do you know what the greatest things in my life??
to find my true love and that is you

do you know what the saddest things in my life??
25.07.07


gal, i not drunk :) dun worry ! so sweet of you by wanting to rush down to acc me :)
love you :)


26.07.07

trying be strong throughout this morning , control my fingers for not messaging or called him . broke down to tears on train again when listen to that song " would you be there" :( you have been using kinds of excuse each time you do wrong things, i never heard wrongly or even drunk:( you just trying to push the blame to me :(

thank gal for consoling me :) happy 18th birthday to pearlyn , legal to club and smoke:*)

why each time i going to leave you , you dun gonna set me free.. why must you say this kinds of things to think back how sweet we are? .. why you send me those mms and make me look back the memories we had ? why must you say those things to make me cry again ?