21st aug tues

went to meet baby after school and we have pizza at je enter .. we try the cheese fouder ( i forget the name of it) , sad i hate the cheese smell,i didnt taste it after having a dip on my mouth :( brought a pair of fake eyelashes, is damn attractive then the face shop i normally brought and is cheap$2.50 for 1 pair:)


22nd aug wed
went to pe instead of running away from lesson ; teacher say have to be in pe attire and i wear baby nike top and beach wear short, is damn short; i dun have any black short that look nicer than this ~haha..:) sad that teacher cheat us coming to her lesson by telling us that have exam al that but al is lied~ f***baby come and fetch me and we ahead to msq after my lesson.. went to hong kong cafe and order e pork chop rice , fried dumpling, siew mai, milo dinosaur, ice red bean and mango ice... indeed taste yummy ! i addicted to that MILO DINOSAUR~ baby send me back home after our chit chatting session :)


23rd aug thur
trying to find out what i always do in school:) yup my lesson is veri interesting accept for those therory class ... bore :( somemore we have that care session :) teach us and encourage us self esteem and have strong ties with families and friends:X cute right? let the picure do the talking:)

24th aug fri
baby off today :) we ahead to orchard after my make up ~ went to hong kong cafe to have my milo dinosaur , fried noodle , dumpling, siew mai and ice tea!! feel so uncomfortable to eat cause we like sharing table with other, so weird:( i prefer msq there instead of cine:) do some shopping and we are like so many things to talk about even we meet each other almost everyday :) we just do the walking until orchard plaza and we realised that where we are??? haha getting bore by having to wait for the time to past and meet my gals at club:( my aunt was so funny , she send those mms of janelle pic and below said :" helo jiejie,how are you ?janelle havent see you for so long..hope you like my pic and pls send regards to shawn kor kor.. tc and love you"aunty was so funny , how could a six month child msg to me, but it brighten up our days ; we were like laughing non stop ~ sweet !! cab down after they called me and inside the club we dancing thru out the night ~darling having his red bull voka~we were playing finger guessing to to finish up al the drinks before going, baby lose almost every game:)

baby and me cabbed home after fun night :) he hold on to my hp and reluctant to return it back to me and i realised that he not high but drunk~ i SUPER HATE IT !! he just being unreasonable and said those kinds of words from his mouth; said i having affair with jeremy and went to bed with him and even slap my hand and leg, okay i just lose my pride infront of that taxi driver and i bear with it cause i could understand that he drunk ~ i thought things may be better but never realised it get worsen :( while i lose my vein , slapped him and wake him up and trying to get back my phone;he slapped me so hard on my left cheek ! ya, i could feel the pain and it pain me more inside my heart, my tears flowing ~ never tried to get a slap from anyone else and you are the first person who let me taste it! trying to walk away from him and want to take back my bags and back home but he pull my hair and hit me on my back , lucky i did not fall from the stairs, while i trying to get up he hit me again and again that i use to crawl for help at the roadside.. he pull my top, almost tear it apart; my bra shown to the public.. in middle of night who will walk pass there and save me, i trying so hard to think while i crying? he didnt allowed me to take back my things as he told me that al those things is he use his own money to buy for me~ the cars and motorbike stop at the road side there and came forward, i faster ran away and hide myself in the corner and cried.. i feel so embrassed!! i so lost at that moment :( a guy live opp came to rescure me, he said how could a guy beat you up til like that but i just kept quiet and cried ~ i so afraid :( he just dun allow me to go home and i went back home with him . inside the room, he made a big fuss and keep crying non stop till mummy tried to use the key to unlock the door and came in and was like very frustrated and mummy ask me what happen and he told mummy that i in fault or whatever.. trying to push the blame to me :( suddenly , his eyes become weird and both his hands and legs cramped and he lie down on the bed then he like change to other person in a min of time .. he was mumbling to himself and keep giggling all the way ! i was so afraid:( mummy keep questioning me like did he step on something outside , or did he talk something bad and should not went out so late next time.. getting more afraid and i also dunno what should i do to make him awake.. until mummy shout on his both ears and told him to sleep then he wake up and he dunno what going on just now! i afraid of looking at him, i so scared ~~~~ he like being possesed!!

25th aug sat
cried at the public, the peoples there should be thinking that i crazy:( i so sad, i feel like pour out my feelings to some one but i dun wish to .. i scare i tears again while talking~ the incident just hit me through my heart so deeply, my necklace he brought for me on valentine day was pull out by him when he hit me on that night and i dunno where he thrown ~ where my precious gone to? he trying to say sorry here and excuses but how could you tel me to forget everything in just one day . how could you tel me not to be hurt ? this time round , i just being afraid to look at him , i feel so scare .. and it hurt me than anything else by hitting from ur love ones who promised to take care of you in the future . my tears keep flowing whenever i closed my eyes in the dark , i kept in silence and told noone else even my close one mummy. i knew she wil feel heartache that her precious get beaten up like this and scar all over her body! i need time to heal and this incident wil tattoo it on my brain. is meaningless to find back the necklaces as he eventually had taken it up from his own hands. i relctuant to give up this relationship cause i dun bear to leave all this memorable moment with him.

someone told me that if a relationship invovled in violence, it will not last and that not called loved anymore~ if this carry on , i am in risk!

i trying my very best to keep away from watery eyes, i no longer the small lil gal ~ i need no sympathy , i could stand up on my own and smile!

26th aug sun
meet him and went to swenson and he having that bbq half chicken and i just have a drink . brought a movie tic at 9.50 to watch dead silence~the show mainly is all bout the puppet and quite complicated and is horror too! went to chit chat before heading home

i was in confused that having you back , am i doing the right way??

27th aug mon
skipped my classes and went to meet him , brought those otah , burger and sausage home . trying to log on to my friendster and viewed him and i realise that he add a gal who is my friend christina and i asked him why ?? maybe he shock that why i know her or whatever ?? he told me he just trying to have more friend.. ya , maybe to somebody else is just an excuse but i believed what he said! am i a fool~ indeed i am ! that moment, my mind keep flashing lot of things til i want to cried again but i just hold it back . ya , i changed ~ no way can make up for me!

i never add any guys before and view them for nothing! thank for lying again and again..
dun blame me whatever i did in future.. you did this to me , you going to get back double ! i promised , i will ~ you tear my heart apart and now i break down , happy?