28th jan 08

HAPPY 13th anniversary.

it should always be a happy day for us on 28th eery month.
having dinner , movie (THE HOUSE ) , sleep and cruddle together.


His friend called on midnight told him to go out for fishing , he know that's not my type and he told me that he cant bear to apart from me to go without me:) He coax me after making love and i fallen asleep . Not long awhile , i have a bad nightmare . i jump up from the bed and called out his name , i need someone to hug and i turned around trying to hug him . I was hugging the air not him :( i called him and he told me that he was at outside with his friends. Maybe he cant imagined that i can wake up so early after a sound sleep ; nighmare reali scare me:( He knew that i afraid to be alone in a dark room , he told me that he will never leave me alone and yet i was lying on the bed in the dark room by myself. I was so afraid and frightened that i did not even dare to wink my eyes . i be hoping for his fast return ! i waited for 1 hr plus and i so tired but i still did not dare to sleep. i felt so disappointed and upset , my tears falling again. i need someone to console me on that moment , everyone have been sleeping . I know my tears cant hold back anymore , i feel so useless ! i felt so hatred , why he did this thing to me ? i always have faith on you and i knew that you will think of me before you did somethig but is a WRONG , you NEVER ! I can ever give up my clubbing session and night life style just to accompany you an sleep but what you did ? just went out like this and enjoyed youself .

upon hearing my voice on the phone , cant you hear that i'm crying.
things happen again ad again . my heart have been break into so many pieces
love and trust have become so doubtful.
please dont act nothing really happen , hug me to sleep !
After things happen , you told me that you really love me,
if you do so , you wouldnt hurt me again eac times.
i feel so stupid to salavage this relationship.
do you know how much i hate you for putting me alone in a dark room ?
do you know i have so much fear and tears on that night?
do you know anything ?

once again you make me disappointed